Pretty much sums up the past week. Oof. And maybe shock. Or definitely shock. Because, really? We have an orange cheeto as a president elect? And not just an orange cheeto, but a racist, misogynist, homophobic, islamophobic, sexist, etc. orange cheeto?!? I can't even.
So, I have tried my best to find hope, to find inspiration, to find anything that will keep me going. I found myself feeling very protective of my kids when we traveled through Atlanta to Daytona Beach last weekend. And even more protective once we were in Daytona Beach, seeing a number of Trump/Pence signs. Nothing happened, except the glances from me, to the kids, and back to me again, trying to figure us out. Sometimes that was followed by a smile, other times not. It definitely made me realize that we are lucky to live in California. I know there are Trump supporters here too (I see the signs), but really, Orange County went blue for the first time since 1936. 80 years! It doesn't make it hurt any less, but it gives me hope for at least the safety of our family in the coming months/years.
I will say that I am so proud to work where I work. Last night our immigration unit held a know your rights and question and answer session for about 100 people. They pulled it together in about two days and made a huge difference in the community. Their focus was on DACA, which is likely going to be lost with the new administration, but they answered questions about immigration generally as well. One of our lawyers is DACA, and she is up for renewal next year. If we do away with DACA, she will no longer be able to work for us and she will have difficulty making a living. We will lose one of the most passionate, strong and caring advocates that we have in our organization. It hurts my heart to even think about it. Soooo, if you happen to know any single United States citizens who live in Orange County, or even Southern California generally, send them our way. Karina is a lovely woman, inside and out, and we need to keep her at PLC!
Enough with the politics for now - to the pictures!
Waking up. As feisty as she is, she is also incredibly sweet and cuddly. This is a sweet moment of waking up.
And then the calm turns to this. She does love her music!
We voted! Jayden helped me vote, which was very cool. We had to wait in line, so I let the kids run up and down the ramp as much as they want. They were very sweet, and Jayden went as slowly as Dakota needed up the ramp. He's such a good big brother.
Right after voting. I couldn't get Dakota to look up because she was obsessed with the "I voted" sticker. Oh well.
And then we got home and had bananas for snack (since we were so late and were going to miss snack at school) and took another picture. I do love my kids. And even though she lost, I am proud to have taken them with me to vote for the first female candidate for president, as well as the candidate who does not incite hatred and intolerance.
Who needs a double stroller when you can fit two kids into one stroller?!? Neither were particularly happy, but they made it the whole ride without much complaining.
And then Friday morning we took off for Florida for my aunt's funeral. My mom is a saint and, after spending the previous weekend with us, she flew back to Santa Ana on Thursday. She got to our house around 8 pm (relieved my babysitter - I was up in LA for work) and then got up at about 4:30 the next morning to catch the first flight out to get to Daytona Beach in time for dinner. The kids were great on the way there. The long flight, from OC to Atlanta, is always tough. But the kids were good. And we survived.
Grandma and Jayden reading a book.
In the rental car in Florida. Stupid time change! But this is Jayden in his booster seat for the first time. I won't put him in it full time, because he's got a few more pounds to gain before he's really ready for it. But with his height, he fits in it just fine. He was pretty excited about it.
After the services on Saturday. Carmen took the kids out part way into the services to play on the playground. Probably a good thing, as my ex-uncle nearly ruined the entire day. A long story, but needless to say there is no love lost between his son (my cousin) and him. And clearly we are all on the side of my cousin, since he is the one who lost his mom. Oof. The important part is that everyone got through it, and we were able to celebrate my aunt, and remember her incredible laugh, her wonderful sense of humor and her genuine interest in our lives.
Getting more energy out after the services.
Upon arrival at my aunt's house for the reception after the services, Jayden looked up to the sky and saw this amazing flock of birds flying south in a perfect V. It felt somehow symbolic, as my aunt was a lover of animals. Really a beautiful sight.
The view from my aunt's back porch. She lived in an amazing place.
Dakota cheesing and holding it together pretty well.
Jayden, Dakota and Auntie checking out the catfish at the restaurant where we ate dinner. Jayden got to feed them. And then a fishing boat came in and they got to watch the guys unload the fish. Pretty cool. Until they drained the bloody water from the boat and it then became not so cool. Poor Auntie. Thanks for taking one for the team.
The view from our hotel room. I never made it onto the beach, but it was an amazingly peaceful view. IF we were there under better circumstances, it would be a wonderful place to vacation (and if we could get connecting rooms so we didn't have to sleep in the same room as the kids!).
Sunday morning, spreading my aunt's ashes. My cousin and his wife found this cool urn that dissolves in the water. My aunt's name was Barbara, but she was known her whole life as "Bonnie."
"My Bonnie lies over the ocean, My Bonnie lies over the sea..."
What Dakota does at other peoples' houses. If we come visit you, make sure you clean your bathtub because I promise you, she'll be inspecting it.
The kids on the ride home. The first flight was fine. The first hour of the second flight was okay. The remaining 3-1/2 hours were rough. I had an amazingly patient seatmate, who had an eight month old son at home. He was so understanding, and very complimentary of the kids. The dude in front of me glanced back at us twice, when Dakota cried for less than five minutes twice. I almost said something to him, like "seriously? this could be SO much worse. count your blessings." For a 17 month old child to make it on a 4-1/2 hour flight crying only twice for about five minutes, and not sleeping at all? That's a huge win.
By the time we got home, I was DEAD. Completely exhausted. And we were back to work and school the next day. The first day was okay, even the second somewhat. I had a board meeting for the non-profit board I joined on Monday night, but I couldn't get a babysitter, and I just couldn't take the kids with me since we wouldn't be home until nine. So I had to miss the meeting, which was a huge bummer for me, since it was the first meeting since I was approved to join the board. Such is the life of a solo parent with no regular babysitter...
Monday I picked up Jasmine. I love the vet - they put a bow on her to make her more festive. So sweet. Of course, she spent most of the first day trying to get it off. But I'm equally stubborn, so I have left it on.
And then this happened. Jayden was playing with his light saber and he said "Mommy, watch my moves!" You have to admit, he's got some pretty sweet moves.
Thank goodness for the kids. Until tonight. Jayden kicked me twice because he didn't like the cup I put his juice in, and then Dakota bit me. And both of them more or less cried from 6 pm to bedtime. I got Dakota down around 6:50 and then read two books to Jayden, and had him down by 7:25 or so. I cleaned up, got ready for tomorrow (seriously, TGIF!) and am now ready to go through my box of files to try to come up with some semblance of organization in my work life. I barely know where to start, but I just have to put my head down and do what I can. So, here goes!
Hope you all are well and are dealing with last week as best you can. There are so many good articles. This one, evaluating Trump under Plato's philosophy is great. It's long, but it's interesting. There really are so many others as well. But more than anything, people have to speak up. When we see something wrong, biased, racist, etc., we have to say something and stand strong. We have to make the Trump supporters regret mobilizing us in this fashion. And we have to work together. Now more than ever, we have to work together. I just can't leave politics completely out of it right now. There's too much at stake. Apologies if it makes you uncomfortable, but my kids' future depends on it.
So, the whole reason my mom came down is because the kids didn't have school on Thursday or Friday. On Thursday, Carmen and I tag-teamed; he covered the morning shift and I covered the afternoon shift. In an attempt to get some work done, I gave the kids an empty cardboard box and let them go to town. This ensued:
And, at the birthday party on Sunday, they had some pretty talented character actors (and you get a firsthand view of the scary Darth Vader guy). I swear, if Jayden keeps dancing, he'll end up doing some kind of break dancing like this guy. ;)
I have complete election anxiety. I am watching the Seahawks game (which is causing its own level of anxiety) and reviewing my election pamphlet so I know how to vote on various measures. I am taking Dakota and Jayden with me to vote in the morning (I want my sticker in the morning, dammit!), and I've been talking to Jayden about voting, so I want him to see me do it every election. I asked him who I should vote for, Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton. He said, "isn't Trump the one who said bad things about girls?" I said "yup, that's the one!" (I don't care who you vote for tomorrow, you can't deny he said "mean things" about girls/women). He said, "You should vote for the other one; I don't like Donald Trump." And I mean, if my five year old gets it? So, that's that. We'll be voting tomorrow. And then watching obsessively throughout the day as results come in.
In the meantime, we've had quite the last week!
My little ninja turtles.
Getting ready for Boo at the Zoo.
Daddy and the kids in front of the giant pumpkin with the cat on top. Dakota loved the giant pumpkin.
Sitting in the "nest" on the carousel. It was one of those rides that you can spin as the carousel spins. I felt to sick afterwards - and I think Dakota felt similarly. Jayden was loving it. I think from now on Dakota will ride a horse (or a bear or a penguin, or one of the other zoo animals on the carousel), I'll stand next to her, and Jayden can ride the nest by himself. Oof.
Family photo op. We had planned to stay for only a short time, but the train took so long that we ended up staying until they closed. The good thing is that Jayden understood we had to leave since the zoo was closing! We rarely get family photo ops, so it was nice to have all four of us in a photo together, even if I was the only person wearing a mask!
And thank goodness, the Seahawks just won. That's one anxiety crossed off my list. :)
Jayden's school is doing a recycling project, where they are collecting plastic bottles and aluminum cans. They have been collecting for a few weeks now, and in another two weeks they will take all the recycling to an Albertsons nearby and recycle it in the bins. They'll take the money they make from depositing the cans and bottles and donate it to CASA (Court-Appointed Special Advocates) to allow them to get presents for the kids they work with. CASA is one my favorites - they provide advocacy (and mentorship/support/etc.) for kids determined to be abused, abandoned, neglected by the juvenile dependency system. I worked with CASA when I was at the Children's Law Center, and my parents know someone who used to run CASA. I just find the work they do to be so important and so necessary. So. I love this project. It has motivated me to talk to Jayden about recycling, about helping people who don't have as much as we do and just generally about being a good person. I told him a story that a friend told me (she has fostered kids in the dependency system) about how she brought in a family of three or four kids, and when she got them new socks and underwear, their faces just lit up. I asked him if he could even believe not being able to get new socks and underwear, and he definitely could not. So I love being able to have these conversations with him.
Along those lines, I ran across this picture today:
And then I read an article denouncing this meme, saying intelligence and kindness are not mutually exclusive. Which is totally true. But this is like the whole Black Lives Matter movement. It's not that saying "black lives matter" means that no other lives matter, it's just that black lives are traditionally devalued, and you say it to ensure that people don't value one life over the other. Every life matters, obviously, but it's quite clear that there are people in this country who don't actually believe that. And while I'm on my political soapbox for two more minutes, the whole reason Black Lives Matter is because, in the last week or so, three white men have shot six different cops. All three white men have lived to take a mug shot. Yep, that. It's not that intelligence doesn't matter, it's just that kindness needs to matter equally, or more sometimes. And parents/guardians/educators, need to be able to teach empathy, self-awareness and general emotional health as much as they can teach straight academics. And now I'll step down. But I can't promise it won't come back in future posts - I only have so much self-control!
My office had a Halloween costume lunch, and only six of us dressed up. That is my boss on the right, as "the Dude" from the Big Lebowski. The winner of the costume contest was the 20s girl, who is just so wonderful.
And then it was kids Halloween time. I left early to grab Jayden and Dakota and head to a free fair being held by the city of Tustin. Jayden wore his mask for about 22 seconds, but on top of his head, not on his face. Then he was over it.
Dakota, on the other hand, rocked her whole costume for a while. She was awesome. People kept thinking she was a boy. But whatever. She's cute either way!
Donatello slam-dunking in the bounce house.
The best part about this bounce house? The kids exited via the slide. So great.
We tried to go trick-or-treating and just couldn't find a good neighborhood. Next year I will research better, because I was pretty disappointed this year. Instead, there was a local church that had an event with games and treats, so we took the kids there. It was fine, it was just kind of low-key, and not the trick-or-treating experience I was hoping for. Luckily both kids had fun, and that's all that matters.
For better, or for worse, we got goldfish at the event. Four of them. By Wednesday night all four were gone. We still have the aquarium, so the plan is to do a better job of getting hte necessary equipment - apparently we need a chlorinator - and then we'll get a single fish that we think we can actually keep alive. And we'll move the aquarium out of the kitchen. Because that's probably not the best spot.
And then I bought these shirts for my little social justice warriors. I adore these shirts. I bought myself one too. They're by a company called Wire and Honey, and they have all kinds of amazing shirts - Vaccines Save, Bro; Stand Against Racism; Stand Against the R-Word; Stand Against Bullying, and all kinds of other awesome sayings. AND, you get a piece of honey candy with your order, which is so so good. Also, that is Dakota's "cheese" face. Seriously doesn't get better than that.
I had my first "mom of girl must buy cute clothes" moment this weekend. We went to Target and I found a cute dress for Dakota's 18 month pictures. And THEN I found these boots. Because oh. my. gosh. These boots. I spent the next two days searching for them, or something similar, in an adult version. Nothing. Literally nothing. I'll keep looking, but I'm afraid I'm out of luck. I've also realized that, despite my best efforts, Dakota is likely to turn out to be "girly." She already loves shoes. She wants me to put lip balm on her if she sees me putting it on herself. She seems to love pink and purple and skirts and all of that. It's driving me nuts. Obviously I will follow her lead, but I was so planning to raise a tomboy! On the other hand, she has absolutely no problem getting dirty, so at least there's that!
The coolest kids in town.
#whymykidiscrying She is covered in wet paint and I wouldn't pick her up. Yep, that happened.
Cuddle time with Gramma. At first Dakota wouldn't look at her, but kids just have a sense about Grandma Barb, and she quickly cuddled with her when I had to leave for work on Friday morning.
Sunday we went to a birthday party for one of Jayden's friends. They had a balloon artist who made the coolest things you've ever seen. This is Donatello, obviously - he says "Cowabunga Dude!" (and also, they had Hawaiian roles, fried chicken and a chinese cabbage salad - so good!)
The party was a Star Wars-themed party, so the kids had "jedi training." So cute to see them warm up and practice with their "light sabers." Then Darth Vader came out and Jayden sat in my lap until the mask came off. He is just not about Darth Vader, even if he understands it's a costume. This is why I am not going to push him to watch shows/movies that he's not ready for - it's just not worth it.
Grandma got Dakota a puppy on a purple leash, kind of like Jasmine! Dakota adores puppies, so this was the perfect choice. Dakota has already popped/destroyed half the balloon puppy, but luckily she doesn't care one bit!
The family is the birthday boy, his dad, mom and baby sister. Jayden wanted to watch them get their pictures taken. I kept telling him to scoot over to get out of the picture, so he sat on a stool about an inch out of the picture to watch. And when the photo printed, he very carefully carried it over to the mom. It was very sweet, and a little weird. But that pretty much summarizes our oldest child - sweet, and a little weird - but in the best way possible.
My face in these pictures - ack! But Jayden wanted to take pictures, and only with me, so who am I to say no. I love the printouts that we got - I just wish I had thought through our poses first!!!
And finally, before bedtime, one more cuddle with Grandma, reading a silly book about Chester, a horse who talks. Even Dakota was in on the fun.
So there it is. A full week of adventure and fun with the Wallace kids. And tomorrow could be the apocalypse or it might not be, but either way it's going to be stressful. And either way, I am worried about the hate that has been encouraged, fostered and has grown in this country over the past year or so. It makes me scared for women, for people of color, for people with disabilities, for anyone who has experienced discrimination in some form or another. I hope that we can heal. I don't view Canada as a real option, although I do think it would be lovely to live there, but I would seriously explore all options if the apocalypse does happen tomorrow. Good luck to everyone, and #GoVote!
It's Halloween weekend and the kids still haven't worn their costumes. It's not that I haven't tried, but rain cancelled one event last weekend. Schedules cancelled the event Thursday. And now it's two days until Halloween and there are only two more chances to wear the costumes. Oh well!
Tomorrow we're going to Boo at the Zoo with Maxwell and his brother and mom. Maxwell's dad is a HUGE Cubs fan and since tomorrow could be the last game . . . he can't be chasing children around a zoo during the game. I assured Jen that with three adults and four kids, we'd totally have it under control. Which means we will probably lose each of the kids at least once. It will be awesome.
Monday we're going to work as usual, and the kids will go to school. They don't do costumes at school, but they do pajama day for Monday and Tuesday, so Jayden and Dakota can "dress up" for those two days. But again - no costumes!! Oh well.
We have no plans for Halloween evening - there's a local fair in Tustin that I think we'll try to attend, and then we may just stay home and answer the door for our one trick-or-treater. We'll see.
In the meantime, the other GIANT news is that we're all alive! We survived the last week. I worked four of the five nights. I am completely exhausted but everyone is alive.
We got some lovely rain last week. Dakota was confused about the wet stuff coming down from the sky, plus is never super happy about me dropping her off, even though she loves school.
Tuesday night I got to check out the new Federal courthouse in downtown Los Angeles. I was appointed as a Ninth Circuit Lawyer Representative, which means I am part of a group of lawyers representing the lawyers' perspective to the Central District of California, and the Ninth Circuit as a whole. I am the only person from a public interest organization, so a large part of my role will be to speak up for those who are low-income and who are representing themselves. Tuesday night was orientation - where I got to speak with some judges and see the new courthouse (nobody has moved in yet - it doesn't open until next week). It was fun, but it was a trek, and it was exhausting, because it was networking, and I hate networking! But it will be a cool experience, I think. It's a three year term, so I've got a while to figure it all out.
Just a morning picture.
And child #1. When I forget their names, I'm just going to start saying "1" and "2." Totally acceptable.
Friday night there was a Halloween party to raise funds for the Public Law Center. They raised $43,000, which is crazy. So great. Carmen and I decided not to be Ninja Turtles, which is the family costume, and we went with something we had handy in our closet - cowboy and cowgirl. It was a fun party - open bar, lots of dancing, fun people - but so exhausting!
And the craziest thing ever, a potential client showed up! This woman came and claims she is involved in some crazy probate case where she thinks her cousin unduly influenced her uncle into leaving more of the estate to her, and this woman believes she is entitled to more than $1 million. So yeah. That's going to be a fun phone call next week. Oof.
Carmen's full outfit. Enid, I feel like this may look eerily similar to what he wore when he was eight, just maybe different materials!
They had a s'mores bar! I got to roast my own marshmallow, they had peanut butter cups, chocolate squares and chocolate/mint for the middle, and graham crackers of course. Obviously I went for peanut butter cups. So so good. I may have had four of them.
Here we both are, towards the end of the night when my freckles started to wear off. We got lots of compliments on our costumes, which was funny because I actually wore the shirt to work that day, I bought the hat this past summer and the jeans a few months ago. So all totally current items, but apparently we put them together well.
We were out late, until almost midnight, but luckily I wasn't drinking since I was working. That meant I was tired this morning, but not feeling gross. So even though 7 am came really early (or really, 6:10 am when Jayden woke up the first time), it wasn't horrible. We had a quiet day around the house, which was really nice considering how busy the week has been. And how crazy the next couple of weeks are going to be as well.
I saw this cool thing online, where someone melted crayons on a pumpkin. So, I told Jayden about it and we decided to try it today. We glued something like 15 pieces of crayon to the pumpkin, let the glue dry, and then got a hairdryer to melt the crayons. It was awesome. You have to find the perfect balance to not get too close where you blow the crayons off the pumpkin or splatter the crayon everywhere, but still be close enough to actually melt the crayon.
Some splatter is inevitable, obviously.
The kids were definitely intrigued. Next time, I will use a larger garbage bag base.
Finished product!
Jayden wanted to take pictures, so he took a series of me and Dakota. This was the best one we got. Pretty good photography skills by Jayden, though.
And then we decided to decorate pumpkins - Jayden wanted to paint his since we had already told him we couldn't carve it since it doesn't sit upright. So we all decided to paint. And if you're going to paint, you pretty much need to be in diaper/underwear only (if you're a kid - for grown-ups clothes are encouraged). As expected, Dakota painted everything - pumpkin, hands, knees, toes, concrete, everything. Blue and yellow and green everywhere!
But the end result was awesome! Check out our fantastic family of pumpkins. Carmen's is the orange one on the left with the purple top and the tongue. In case you weren't sure, Dakota's is the orange one in front. Mine is the one on the right with the green "hair." Jayden's is the one in the back with the face and the red, which is what connects the brain to the ear (his explanation, not mine, obviously!). And our melted crayon pumpkin is on the table in the back. I'm pretty proud of our pumpkins this year. And I love the different colors of pumpkins. We forgot to put the green gourd out there. Maybe we can get creative with our decoration tomorrow and add that one.
The front of our house. Not overwhelmingly Halloween-y, but still festive. Since we're not expecting trick-or-treaters, it doesn't really matter. But it's definitely fun to decorate with the kids.
And then, obviously, we have a dance party!
This video is for blog readers only. But please re-watch many times. I already have, and I saw it live! Dakota dancing is just the most amazing. As is the five year in his underwear (they're Superman, in case you're wondering). But Dakota's moves are nothing short of spectacular. In the last couple of days she has started trying to jump, which is basically her bending her knees and sometimes lifting up one foot, sometimes just standing up straight with emphasis. It's pretty awesome. And she puts such effort into it, she often ends up on her booty. Hilarious.
I'll put up some Halloween pictures after Monday. But in the meantime, here's a preview:
Next week is relatively calm. Thursday and Friday the kids are off school, so Mom flies in Thursday evening. I have court Thursday morning, so Carmen will stay home with the kids in the morning and I will relieve him before lunch. Mom lands late that night, so either Carmen or I will pick her up after the kids are in bed. Friday I have a presentation so Mom will stay home with the kids while I go to work. We'll hang out for the weekend, which will be nice. Carmen and my mom will probably leave Monday morning .Carmen gets home Tuesday night and leaves against Wednesday night. I have to be in L.A. Thursday night, when my mom flies back in to Orange County. Because my aunt (my dad's sister) passed away this week and her service is November 12 in Florida. And my mom is the nicest person ever, so she is going to fly from Seattle to Santa Ana on Thursday evening (while I'm in L.A. probably - she may relieve the babysitter!), and then she will fly with me, Dakota and Jayden to Florida first thing Friday morning. We'll land hopefully in time for dinner. The service is Saturday, and then Dakota, Jayden and I will fly home Sunday afternon. Carmen will fly to Florida on Thursday/Friday, then will fly to New York on Sunday. He'll be back home the following weekend, probably the 19th or 20th. So the week of the 14th is going to be one of solo parenting. It will be fine. It always is. And we will survive. I can pretty much guarantee we'll eat take-out or frozen food every night for dinner. But the kids will be alive, they'll be loved and that's what matters.
All that to say, I may be somewhat absent from the blog in the next couple of weeks. I know that's nothing new really, but since I know it this time, I figured I'd warn you all! I hope everyone is doing well, and that you are avoiding the disaster trio that so often hits us. We have had our three for the week, so I'm pretty sure we can't have any more, at least not until December. We'll see. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? RIGHT?
