Today, at almost exactly 7-1/2 months, Jayden will have to be supplemented with formula. I wanted so badly to make it to one year exclusively breastfeeding, but I guess it just wasn't meant to be. What's hard for me, and this is probably a dilemma faced by many moms that work outside the home, is that if I didn't work, I probably wouldn't have to supplement. I know Jayden will be fine and he's already received so many benefits from the 7-1/2 months of exclusive breastmilk (except for those 3 days at the beginning), but it's hard on me. There's guilt for choosing to go back to work, there are feelings of failure for not being able to produce enough breastmilk and just general frustration with the situation. And it doesn't help that work has not been wonderful over the past couple of weeks. It constantly makes me wonder if working is the right thing, if this job is the right thing, if I picked the right daycare - so much self-doubt!
But, off we go to daycare and work. Luckily Jayden will be happy no matter what, because that's just who he is. Now if only he'd sleep!
(this was written at about 7:45 am - but it wouldn't post on my phone so I had to wait until I got to work to publish it)
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