Screaming, screaming and SCREAMING!

That's the phase we're in right now with Dakota. She is still figuring out words, so if she doesn't like something, if she does like something, if she wants to do something or doesn't want to do something, she screams. Sometimes it's a quiet-ish scream and sometimes it's an all-out shriek. She's screaming right now. I love her. I really really do. But I just want to be able to go an hour without a scream. She is also exhausted right now, so the screaming is a whole bunch worse.

We went out to dinner on Friday night and she shrieked a few times because I wasn't feeding her fast enough, because she wanted to get out, because because because. And the people at the table next to us turned around to look at us a few times. I wanted to say "I'm honestly doing everything I can; the shrieking is just part of who she is at this point in her life." It was clear they didn't have kids. But they were also at a very kid-friendly pizza restaurant at 5:15 pm on a Friday night. So they should have expected kids!

In any case, just too much screaming. I want to scream. I really really do. But if people turn around when Dakota shrieks, imagine what they'd do if I started screaming too. Being a grown up is hard sometimes!

Cute kiddos in the pool. Amazingly Dakota neither pinched nor bit during this float.

Fun at the splash pad.

Look at this grown up girl. Also, look at this girl trying to escape the garage and run into the street. The first one is cute, the second one is a handful.

And you can't leave silly big brother out.

Best discovery of the past couple of weeks is Amazon Fresh. You order groceries and they are delivered to your house! The downside is you can't get everything you want. The upside is I can place an order at noon and schedule a delivery for between 5 and 6 pm, and they show up on our front porch in these awesome refrigerated totes. So incredible.

Eyes. Just big brown eyes.

Nothing could possibly go wrong, right? I can't see a problem with a four year pushing his one year old sister at high rates of speed in a wooden cart around our family room. Totally safe.
(amazingly, nothing really did go wrong. not sure how we made it through that one, but we did)

Friends at school: Greyson, Jayden, Alexander and Noah. As you can see Jayden is literally head and shoulders above all of his friends. Sadly Alexander just left for another school so we don't get to see him anymore. But we will see him Saturday for Jayden's birthday party!

A new hairstyle. :) The barrettes don't stay in her hair very well - for as much hair as she has, it's actually kind of fine, like mine, at least for now. I imagine as she gets older it will get coarser, like Jayden's did.

This portrait was in honor of national dog day, because obviously. The grey is really coming through in our old girl (and first baby), but she still tries to keep up with the kids!

There is nothing wrong with a weeknight dance party. In fact, sometimes it is the only way to get through the weeknight!!!

Just before I caught this photo, she was laying on the couch like this with her legs crossed. Of course I missed that moment, but this one isn't so bad. She has such a personality.

At another splash pad for Alexander's birthday party. This one was pretty awesome too, but was not as little kid friendly.

This was about as far away from us as Dakota got. She spent most of her time getting relatively wet and then running to me for a hug. So awesome.

More buddies: Noah, Alexander and Jayden.

Star Wars birthday cake with all the friends!

We had quite a Sunday: after the birthday party we went to a restaurant/bar in Newport Beach to see Landon's dad's music school perform. It was a tribute to Prince and to David Bowie, and it was pretty great. Jayden and Dakota were both rocking out to the music.

Dakota loves being closed in our glass showers. She then presses her face against the glass and generally giggles until she decides it's enough and wants out.
On this morning, she also decided clothes were optional and decided her silver shoes would be sufficient. At least I got a diaper on her.

One of my favorite outfits ever. I love these little Nikes, and I just love Dakota in little sporty outfits. I'm so much more a sporty mama than a girly mama. It's going to be very hard for me to put her in frilly dresses - or really anything other than cotton dresses, because why?!? These kind of clothes are just so cute. And she loves this football. It cracks me up, considering it's about half her size.

More sportiness, with some adorable face as well.

The almost-five-year-old. He can't look directly at a camera to save his life, but at least he smiles.

We have been playing a lot of basketball and being outside generally in the evenings. It's nice, and lets the kids get their energy out. Dakota has decided it is really fun to randomly lay down on the concrete and put her hands up until I come lift her up and toss her into the air. It's pretty cute, except when she does it in the middle of Jayden's basketball game. It keeps me on my toes - trying to play defense on Jayden and preventing Dakota from being stepped on at the same time.

Kissy face. :)

Although I did pick her shirt and pants, Dakota picked everything else. Nothing wrong with some goggles, a backpack and two different shoes as your accessories. She clearly takes after her brother when it comes to fashion.

Hugs for Jazzy.

Carmen and I had a night out at a wedding for one of Carmen's friends last Saturday. It was at a beautiful venue in Laguna Beach and was a very sweet wedding. 

The groom on the left and the bride on the right. They had some very cool Vietnamese touches in the wedding, to honor the bride's culture. And seriously, she is one of the most gorgeous people I have met, both inside and out.

On Sunday I took the kids to see my friend Stacy. Dakota was freaked out by the four month old pug puppy that was there so she spent a lot of time in my arms - or Stacy's arms. She was quiet in Stacy's arms, but she didn't fuss, which was awesome. 

Jayden, on the other hand, thought the puppy was pretty fantastic. He'd lay down on the floor and just let the puppy lick all over him. And Jayden was just giggling the whole time. 

Sunday afternoon Jayden's friend Maxwell came over to play. Maxwell's mom had a migraine and his dad was sick, so I figured if I could at least get the five year old out of the house they could focus on the two year old and maybe get some actual rest. Maxwell and Jayden swam, played with remote control cars, had dinner and raced through the hallway upstairs with Dakota. It was a lot of fun. I'm so grateful Maxwell's parents trusted us to take care of him and feed him - even if we didn't pick the healthiest food!
This photo was when we were expecting Maxwell to arrive - we sat on the front step eagerly awaiting his arrival.

I inflated the Orca whale pool toy for the boys and it was hilarious watching them try to get on, and then stay on, the whale together.

The boys also created their own game where they danced their way to the deep end and then jumped. Hilarious!

They had this funny song they came up with, now I can't remember what it was, but something like "chee chee chee, ooh ooh ooh, chee ollie chee ollie . . ." Great imaginations.

Coming up with another scheme. Luckily they're too little to come up with anything too crazy or too troublesome.

And clearly Dakota had to get in on the silliness.

One of the things I love the most was watching Dakota try to keep up with the boys, and, sometimes, the boys letting Dakota participate,even if it was just sitting next to them while they played. It made her feel part of the group and was so cute. 

And now it's Wednesday evening, feels like it should be Thursday, even though I've only been to work two days this week! I woke up this morning with a sore throat and feeling generally awful, and have gotten progressively worse over the course of the day. Which is awesome, since we're having a weekend of birthday celebrations and my husband can do nothing. For instance, I realized I'm going to have to figure out how to get balloons, cake, fruit platter, everything on Saturday morning, get Jayden to swim class and still get to the party on time. I will have to do some of it Friday afternoon, which means leaving work early, since Carmen can't do pick up and I can't leave him alone with the kids. It's always an adventure.

I've gone through a lot of ups and downs over the last few weeks. I'm definitely in a "down" at the moment. I'm trying to be okay with it and understand that life is that. But there are so many times where I feel helpless, where I have no control over anything, where I pretty much feel like I'm failing at everything (work, marriage, motherhood, friendship, etc. - and not necessarily in that order) that it just gets overwhelming. Being a parent is no joke. It is by far the most rewarding, most awful thing I've ever done.

And when people get tired it gets "better." Tonight I was bathing the kids (Carmen was busy doing work stuff, so bedtime was pretty much just me - I can do it, it just involves a lot of juggling and chasing and preparation on my part) and Dakota stood up to reach for a toy, like she does so many times. Well, this time her foot slipped and she hit her face on the side of the bathtub. She hit her front top teeth and blood just started coming out of her mouth. I cleaned her up, dried her off, gave her some water to clean out her mouth and she seemed fine by the time she went to bed. I'm sure she was sore, but no more blood, at least, and no loose teeth as far as I could tell.

THEN, because this is how it happens, we were putting Jayden to bed and he jumped from the end of his bed to where his pillows are. Well, he misjudged and smacked his head into the headboard SO loud. I thought he had cracked the headboard, honestly. I made him tell me how many fingers I was holding up. And we put some ice on it. I didn't even see a bump, though. But his speech was a little confused, which of course freaked me out more. I will probably try to wake him up a bit when I take him to the bathroom later to make sure I haven't ruined him forever.

Also, if I were more savvy in life, but particularly with blogs and the internet, I'd figure out how to use emojis in the blog. It would really add something, I think. Oh well, something I can ask Jayden to help me figure out next year, when his technology skills already will surpass mine!