Monday already?!?

And so it's Sunday night.  I swear it was just Friday night.  How do two days go oh so fast?  I guess when you want something to go slow, it just does the opposite.  I was a single mom for most of last week - Carmen left first thing Tuesday morning and got back late Friday night.  It was a bit of a rough week for me, getting up early and being crazy busy all day long.  I was so extremely happy for the weekend to arrive.  And of course it took Jayden about two hours to fall asleep on Friday night so I ate dinner at 9:45 pm.  Oh the life of a mom!

Yesterday Carmen, Jayden and I went out to lunch and ran a few errands.  I tried to catch up with Carmen as far as shoe purchases go, while Jayden was asleep in the carrier on my chest.  Turns out it's pretty challenging to try shoes on with an almost 28 pound child on your chest.  

Today I got 1-1/2 hours to myself to get a pedicure.  It was relaxing and nice to chill out and read three month old People magazines for a few minutes.  I got another 20 minutes or so to sit when I got home before Jayden woke up from his nap.  We ate some lunch, let Jayden run back and forth on the brick pathway outside with Jasmine and then Jayden and I took off to the grocery store.  I used one of the shopping carts that has a car in front and let Jayden "drive" us around.  He was pretty excited about using the steering wheel and it actually kept him pretty entertained!

Looking at me through the grocery cart.  I also managed to knock over a display.  In front of another shopper.   It was difficult to put back together so I did the best I could and then ran.  I did mention it to the guy who checked me out.  He was less than enthusiastic about it, but whatever.  Those car/carts are really hard to steer!

Jayden continued his struggle with eating.  He's definitely trying to tell me that he wants something, but what I get is "ma-na, ma-na, ma-na, ma-na" with a lot of finger pointing towards the general kitchen area and some head shaking.  Makes it very difficult to figure out what exactly he's asking for.  So I guess.  And 98% of the time I'm wrong.  And I either get food thrown at me, spit out or generally tossed on the floor.  It reduced me to tears more than once this weekend.  

And this brings me to a slightly more serious note: everyone on the outside seems to think I'm a great mother and I have everything together.  But I question myself every day and I know that I am not the best mother.  I definitely could stand to find more patience somewhere.  I should have figured this out about myself before having Jayden, but somehow I missed it: I like to know what I'm doing; I like to feel comfortable and confident in what I'm doing.  When I don't feel comfortable then I get nervous and things don't go well.  So, the issue with being a mom is that nobody really knows what they're doing.  Some people figure it out faster than others I guess, but each day still brings new challenges.  So I think this discomfort affects my ability to let things go, to just be happy, etc.  I also think the lack of personal time over the past 1-1/2 years has really taken its toll on me.  Especially since I am a person who really values their personal time.  In any case, it's a challenge.  I recognize it's a challenge and I'm trying to convince myself to overcome it, for Jayden's sake.  He deserves a mom who is happy - with life, with herself, with her job, with her husband, with her dog, etc.   So that's my late January resolution, for Jayden's sake.  

And now for a lighter note.  Here's Jayden during dinner.  He was "double-fisting"

Jayden finally drinking milk!  It's been a few days since he's been willing to drink milk because of all of his congestion.  He still has a chest cough but he does seem to be feeling better.  He's been sleeping well too - last night he slept 12-1/2 hours!  We loved the 8:30 am wake up this morning.

Goofing off during the photo shoot.  I don't know what he thought was funny, but something cracked him up.  Oh toddlers.

For those of you wondering: William is still unconscious (in the medically induced coma).  He's showing positive signs and they are reducing his medications, etc. slowly and trying to let him wake up on his own.  Enid is still in Charlotte with him.  She's had a number of visitors for support which has been good.  But I think this is extremely stressful for her.  Keep sending whatever it is you send - prayers, thoughts, good vibes, etc. - because they are truly needed right now.  

Biker Dude (sort of)

On Monday Jayden and I went to the Children's "Museum" near us.  I expected it to be insane, and it was crazy, but not as bad as I thought.  As usual, Jayden was slow to warm up.  We started the day by standing on the little bridge for about 20 minutes.  He walked up one side and then stood in the middle of the bridge and watched all the kids run by him and around him.  Eventually he found some courage, inspiration, motivation, whatever and walked down the other side.  And from then on we were good.  We played in the farm, inside the mini house, on the stage, with the pretend lawnmower, with the motorcycle, with lots and lots of things.

The first car we sat in.  Jayden was more interested in just sitting in it and checking out the crowd.  This caused some issues with other kids who were interested in using the car and couldn't understand why they couldn't use it if all Jayden was doing was sitting there.  Later on the game became open the door, get out, close the door, open the door, get in, close the door, repeat.

Hanging out by the ramp.  Jayden found a car on the floor and was carrying it around with him everywhere.  Anything with wheels is his favorite toy.

Jayden found his way on to the stage.  He mostly just stood there.  But it was still cute.  The best part, though, was that on stage was the only place he got run over all day.  Two older girls were acting crazy and they bumped into him.  He plopped down on his bottom on the floor and may have bumped his head on the wall slightly.  The two girls immediately recognized that they'd run into him and leaned over him.  One of them started pointing at the other girl, as if she was explaining to Jayden that it was the other girl's fault.  Jayden was looking at them a little stunned and then grabbed his head and looked like he was going to cry.  The second girl leaned over him and kissed the air above his head.  He was fine and started to get up and the girls ran off and kept playing.  It was such a cute moment, though.  

Jayden started to figure out how to push with his feet on this motorcycle.  But he also started to learn the first lesson about riding two-wheeled vehicles when he tipped over once.  This may be the first and last motorcycle he ever rides.  Good thing he had his overalls on.  If only I'd remembered his super cool biker jacket...

On a more serious note, for anyone who doesn't know, Carmen's mom's boyfriend had a heart attack this week.  He's in ICU right now in a medically induced coma.  We're all worried for him and for Enid.  If you pray, send him your prayers.  If you don't, positive thoughts, good vibes, whatever you have, are all appreciated.  I sent Enid this via text tonight to try to help her smile a little:

Jayden, wearing some Christmas gift clothing, hanging out in the hallway with his cars.  Even though I had to wake him up at 6:30 am this morning to get out the door and to court on time, he was in a great, loving, charming mood when we got home.  I'm glad he could forgive me because I was feeling pretty bad.  

Happy (long) weekend!

We've had a good weekend, although interrupted quite a bit by Carmen's work.  Yesterday we went to the park and ran a couple of errands.

Walking the bridge between the parking area and the big kids play area at the park.  We had to walk this particular stretch a number of times before we could leave.  

Our first experience sitting in a booster seat.  It was rather scary since the benches weren't very secure.   We only did it because no high chairs were available; I don't think it'll be happening again any time soon.  In other news, Jayden had a cheeseburger and loooved it.  He clearly is our child.  He even picked it up with two hands and ate it the way normal people eat cheeseburgers.  It was pretty funny to see.

Last night Carmen and I had a date night.  Our last one for a month or so, probably!  We went to a restaurant a couple blocks from my office and had a wonderful meal and great service.  It was fun to be somewhere different, and lots of good people watching too!

Today we went to Carmen's office for a bit and then went out to lunch and walked around a local mall.

There was a lot of traffic this morning; Jayden waiting his turn to back up.  ;)

Jayden was apparently starving at lunch. He ate 1-1/2 bowls of macaroni and cheese and a little bowl of apple slices.  He ate the whole first bowl and the waitress offered us a "refill."  I hesitated but then figured maybe he'd eat a few bites.  No, he ate half of the bowl.  It was insane.  He barely ate dinner because I think he's still full.

We got to ride the carousel too.  It was both really fun and incredibly scary, depending on what moment you ask about.  I strapped Jayden in tight (on a horse that moved!) and had my arm around him the whole time.  He also had his arm around me most of the time - but he smiled too so some part of it was fun for him.  

Tomorrow I have off (thank goodness!).  I am going to try to lay low, but I do think I will take Jayden to the children's museum.  He hasn't been since he learned how to walk.  My only concern is that it's open to everyone tomorrow and it's a holiday so he may get run over by hundreds of older kids.  I'll have to find a corner where he can run in safety.  We'll see.  If it's a disaster then we'll just come home or stop at some other park where he can run around and explore.

I swear Jayden tried to say "I love you" tonight - but I also am pretty sure it's my own wishful thinking.  He kind of says "iii-ooo."  But he said it when I was saying "I love you."  So I was convinced.  And then I said "I love you" again.  And then he laughed.  So maybe whatever he was saying was unrelated after all.  I think I am so incredibly eager for him to start talking that I'm looking for words everywhere.

I hope everyone else had a good weekend and is excited for tomorrow's day off (hopefully you all get tomorrow off; if not you should call in sick!).

Oh, and turns out we have a superstar in the making!

Check it out: after he dunks, he even hangs on the rim for a minute.  This clearly made Carmen's day, maybe his entire weekend.  It's all because he was wearing his Jordans this morning!

Teeth Brushing

One thing this sickness made Carmen and me realize is that Jayden needs to be using toothpaste.  He had incredibly bad breath while he was sick - most likely because he was breathing through his mouth so much (I googled this because his breath was so bad I was afraid it meant something else was wrong).  But he's old enough and eating regular food, so toothpaste was probably needed anyway.

I bought this flavored non-fluoride toothpaste that's all-natural, safe to be swallowed, etc.  And Jayden loves it.  I also bought almost real toothbrushes.  Which he also loves.  Lizzle, you'd like them too - they're Winnie the Pooh!

Tonight I was brushing his teeth, which is almost never a fight anyway, but Jayden decided he was going to do it himself.  So he grabbed the toothbrush out of my hand, leaned over so he could rinse it and then started brushing.  He only brushed about a quarter of his teeth and spent half his time brushing his tongue so he could taste the toothpaste, but at least he enjoys it.

We have a 16 month old

...who hates sleeping, apparently.  It's amazing!  Or not at all.  Jayden was sick last week, so we were giving him the benefit of the doubt.  When he woke up at 2 am screaming, we'd go in and rock him to sleep.  But, if  we tried to put him in his crib he's scream and cry and clutch at us.  So I slept in the guest bed with him a couple of nights.  Now he's better, maybe not perfect, but better.  And he's still waking up at 11 pm, midnight, etc. and screaming.  So we're trying new things, like going in to soothe him, but not pick him up.  It's sort of working.  But Carmen and I are exhausted and stressed out.

Last night we got a babysitter, which was nice - we went to a quick dinner and then to see Argo - which was an amazing movie by the way.  Both of us highly recommend it and neither of us understand how it didn't get nominated for Best Director at the Academy Awards.  If you haven't seen it, go see it now.  Anyways, we got home around 9:15.  Our babysitter left at about 9:20.  And Jayden started screaming at 9:25.  He finally stopped for good just before 1:00 am (he did take a break between 10:30 and 12:15 or so).  Rough.

He also hasn't been napping except in extreme circumstances.  I keep telling myself this is a phase, this is a phase.  But at the same time wondering if I should be doing something more to teach him to nap better.  Parenthood is full of questioning - mostly of yourself and your choices.

Here are some photos from the past week or so:

Out to lunch on his official 16-month birthday.  He refused to eat anything.  So I ate his meal for lunch the next day.  At least someone ate it!

I don't include Jasmine enough anymore.  So here's a cute picture of her being patient while she waits for us three humans to get our acts together to take her on a walk.

A trick Jayden learned that Mama should have stopped earlier.  Apparently it's pretty fun to crawl through the glass table in our living room.  After he did it two or three times Mama decided maybe the glass isn't completely strong enough to hold him and this might be dangerous.  So we don't do this anymore.  

But we do have a tunnel to crawl through!  And we think it's pretty hilarious.  It's even better when the tunnel is connected to the ball tent.