Superwoman, sort of

So today I totally felt like Superwoman.  Clearly I couldn't have done it without my supporting cast (for today), both at home and at work, but it felt pretty awesome.

I had my oral argument in our appellate case at the super fancy Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals in Pasadena, California.

The Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals in Pasadena.  The building is a former hotel and is randomly in the middle of an entirely residential area.  We were in Courtroom 2, thank goodness, which was a very small, intimate courtroom.  

The famous trellis entrance to the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals building.  Funny enough, the security getting into this building was less strict than the security getting into the Federal Courthouse that my co-workers and I enter at least twice a week.  

We've/I've been working really hard with Jayden over the past few days to get him to not throw complete temper tantrums.  We've used a lot of rewards, but also just talking him through it.  We can get mad, but that doesn't explain to him why he shouldn't do something - or why he should do something.  So I usually get a little bit quieter and ask him some questions and try to talk through it, rather than just yelling.  It's a whole lot more effective, and gets him to talk, which he's not inclined to do when he thinks he's in trouble.

He's been great about coming home in the afternoons.  Juju has been turning the TV off sometimes, which does help, but he also says things to me like "I happy to go wif' you mama."  "I no cwy-ing today," etc.  It does help.  And even when we've had issues ("I DO wan' go on fwee-way," "I DO wan' pahk in gah-wahge," "I DO wan' tuhn hewe," etc.), he manages to get over it and be in pretty good spirits when we get home, and even eat dinner.  It also helps that I've been feeding him pasta pretty much every night this week.

Luckily for me, I really needed it this week, too.  Generally I've been okay, but no matter what, in everything I do, a small part of my brain has been working on my argument for today, going through the arguments, trying to make sure I really know what's going on and what I'm going to say.  It didn't help that the NFL draft was last weekend either, and I was single mothering Thursday, Friday and Saturday.  But we got through it, Carmen took an extra bedtime this week and we made it!

So this morning I was out the door by 6:35 to get to the office to drive to Pasadena.  I knew I wouldn't get to see Jayden, and honestly I'm glad I didn't.  It's harder to leave him when he knows you're leaving, and it's easier on Carmen this way.  I told him last night I wouldn't see him in the morning but that I'd pick him up.  As soon as I said it, I saw his face fall a little bit, and I was afraid of an instant meltdown, but I still feel it's better to tell him what to expect, rather than to just have things be total surprises. It's why I'm also completely straightforward when either Carmen or I are gone.  I tell Jayden where Carmen went and why he's there, or I tell him where I'm going and why I'm going.  He's a smart kid; he doesn't need us to sugarcoat things for him.  So tomorrow, in the morning when we're saying goodbye, I'll explain where I'm going and that I'll be gone a couple days.  He might be sad, but then he'll understand, and he'll know why I'm not picking him up tomorrow and why I'm not at swim lessons on Saturday, etc.  I truly believe being straightforward with him is better than making up stories or explanations.

In any case, back to Superwoman.  We left the office at 7 am and got to Pasadena a little before 9:00 am.  We watched a couple arguments and then went to the attorney lounge (and to the bathroom 854 more times) to prep a little bit and relax.  Soon our co-counsel showed up and our fan base (sadly, no foam fingers - maybe next time).  Soon after that it was time to check in, make our appearance and argue.  Insane.  I had fifteen minutes, split into 10 minutes and 5 minutes for rebuttal.  The 10 minutes went by in a snap and suddenly I only had 2:55 left for rebuttal.  Oh well.  I was able to answer any question they threw at me, I did not say anything I wasn't supposed to say (for instance, when they asked me "well, the kid was fed, wasn't he?  isn't that support?" I said "NO!" and explained why - yay!) and got all, or almost all, of our most important points in. I felt pretty good about the argument itself.  I feel like we had an uphill battle, since we were asking to reverse the lower court, but I think we have a chance.  It's the smallest tiniest chance, and I really think we'll lose, but we have a chance.

In any case, I managed to remove my heart from my throat and apparently to the rest of the world I didn't appear nervous at all.  Thank goodness for supportive friends and co-workers - we had four people in the crowd and two co-counsel, all rooting me on.  So amazing.  We had a fancy lunch in Pasadena, and then came back to the office to pretend to get work done.  I got to pick up Jayden, which was close to the highlight of my day.  I walk in and he runs over to me with a big grin, a big hug and so much love.  The best thing about kids is they know nothing.  For all he knows I went and sat under a bridge today and did nothing.  All that matters is that I show up at the end of the day, am happy to see him and that we get time together.  We jammed to "Beat It" on the way home and just enjoyed each others' company.

He was seriously dancing.  I have no idea what other drivers and passengers think of us while we drive home - we are always dancing to some song and dancing in Jayden's world does not just mean nodding your head.  You have to get your arms moving and move all over the place.  If I weren't driving, I would have taken a video it was so great.

And then we got home and it was STILL over 100 degrees, so clearly we needed to at least dip our toes in the pool.

His first "smile."

...and a real one.  Mommy/Jayden love!

And then it's times like now that I think I'm crazy for wanting to go away for a whole weekend.  But as I was discussing with Juju, it's trips like this that will make me a better mother, because it means I get a break, it gives me a chance to recharge, and of course, I get to have girl time which is so rare in my life these days.  I adore my friends for being willing to let me interrupt their lives and "use" them to get away, and for being so excited about it!  I plan to repay the favor as soon as I get the opportunity (which means, Stacy and Vanessa, that you have to get knocked up so I can give you a break from the kiddo - so get working on that!)

But really, as I've mentioned recently, there are so few days that you feel like Superwoman.  But today, and over the past couple of weeks, I have done my (paying) job, prepared for the biggest day of my professional career, have not only just kept my kid alive but have worked on keeping him relatively happy, have fed the family homemade dinners, have gone grocery shopping, ordered diapers, done 736 loads of laundry (or five - but it feels like more) and generally worked 2-1/2 full time jobs.  AND I rocked the argument today.  I'm sure something will happen that will cut me down to size, but for now I'm Superwoman.  And don't you forget it! (and please remind me next week when I think everything is falling apart...)

Oh, and Carmen signed his first three contracts as an NFL agent today - so we had all kinds of things to celebrate.  Clearly that calls for some bubbly.  :)

CHEERS!!!