I'm a hot mess. Every time I went to preschool this past week I got a lump in my throat. I am having a much more difficult time leaving Dakota than I did with Jayden - I think mostly because I know how hard it is going to be, whereas with Jayden I was blissfully ignorant.
I think it makes it more difficult because I've had her at work with me for the past couple of weeks and so have had extra time with her.
My view of Dakota for part of my day at work - asleep on my chest in the baby carrier.
More pictures of her discovering her feet. I absolutely adore watching her grab her feet. She has been trying to get to her feet for a while, and she finally figured out to roll on to her side to grab her feet.
Hanging out in my co-worker's lap during our staff retreat on Friday.
And success! She got her foot in her mouth. She was so proud of herself. And she likes it even better when I take her socks off. Clearly barefoot toes taste way better than socks.
It also makes me cry over just about everything else. I cried at Friday's staff retreat, talking about how supportive my co-workers are, and when one of my co-workers spoke about how inspired she was about the work that we do and the impact we have on our clients lives. And as I am writing this, we are watching Law and Order SVU, and I cried when the DA (on the show) decided to charge a 15-year-old boy as an adult for accidentally pushing a transgender child off of a bridge. The mom broke down, and I did too. So yeah. I'm a mess. I don't know if I'll even be able to work this week, really. I'll try, but I feel pretty confident I'll be distracted all day.
This past week has been okay - not great, but okay. There have been great moments, good moments and not-so-great moments. Carmen was out of town for the beginning of the week, so it was just me and the kids. There were difficult moments certainly, but I am finding my way through this madness of being a mom of two and finding ways to turn difficult situations into positive ones.
I decided to go for it and take the kids to the Santa Ana Zoo's halloween celebration on Sunday night. My friend Lili was going with her family and a few of Ollie's friends, so we decided to tag along. It made for a rather late night, but we had a good time, and it was good for all of us to be out of the house for the evening.
Our Halloween costume - mama and baby koalas! (she's in my pouch - get it?!??)
Jayden and Ollie on the train. Ollie is 5-1/2 and is about the same size as Jayden. And they are SO cute together. Ollie's other friend, Aaron, who is also five, was being rather aggressive towards Jayden. Aaron would tell Jayden that he couldn't do things, or that Aaron and Ollie were on one side and Jayden couldn't be part of their group, or something similar. Luckily Jayden didn't really get just how mean Aaron was being. But Ollie was awesome. When Aaron would say something like that, Ollie would say "hey! don't say that. Jayden is my friend and he CAN be part of the group" or something similar. I was very impressed.
And then they had ice cream sundaes and bonded over those. These boys are so cute.
Halloween is not Jayden's favorite holiday. I feel bad, because it's not my favorite holiday and I feel like I've influenced him because I don't get so excited about Halloween. I'm trying to be better about it. In any case, Jayden, at the last minute, decided he wanted to be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. Before anyone gets any ideas, he has not seen the movie and doesn't really know the story. He only knows that there are four turtles, they wear different colored masks, and that there's a theme song ("Turtle Power!!!"). So I went online and ordered a costume, but of course it didn't arrive until the day after we went to the zoo. Oh well. Jayden was super excited to try it on, but hasn't wanted to wear it since. I may have wasted my money, so thank goodness I got it cheap! Next year I'm going to try to make a costume out of clothes, if Jayden can decide early enough what he wants to be. Jayden is so much better at "dressing up" when he can wear "everyday" clothes with a twist.
Trying on the costume without the mask. Such a cute smile.
And the full getup! He actually liked the mask, but as I suspected, couldn't really see out of it so didn't wear it all that long.
Dakota continues to be mesmerized by her big brother and he continues to adore her, in his own way ("Mommy, Dakota just really really loves me!"). He doesn't understand personal space. But he can almost always calm her down, make her smile, giggle or squeal.
Of course, just before I took the video above, she was giggling and smiling, but as soon as I hit record she just stared. But you can see the hint of a smile partway through, and you can definitely see the eyes focused on her big brother.
Dakota is developing quickly. She can sort of sit up, relying on her hands. She quickly becomes a pancake (or a quesadilla or something - basically her torso falls over forward onto her legs - oh to be that flexible!), or falls over sideways, but she can sort of be supported. And she grabs everything. She especially likes things her brother is holding. Which is difficult for Jayden, since he feels like she is taking his things. I try to explain she can touch things, but that they won't become hers, I promise. Sometimes he believes me and sometimes not.
She also can spend quite a bit more time on her tummy, can push herself up onto her arms and look around and she can reach her arms in front of her to grab at objects. And sometimes she figures out to roll over too. It's pretty awesome. She is still pretty light, but she is really enjoying the rice cereal, so I'm hoping that will help her pack on the pounds in a healthy manner. I know I'm imagining things, or wishfully thinking things, but I swear she's heavier already. When I weigh her (by weighing me holding her and then weighing me by myself - not my favorite method but it's all I have at home), it seems like she is now over 12 pounds, which is really positive. If she can gain a few ounces a month, so that she's close to 15 pounds by her six month appointment, I think she'll be on the right track. But I also think she's just bound to be long and skinny, like her brother, just not as long, so a little bit more skinny!
Oh, and today. We had swim class. Then I went to a baby shower for one of my friends from law school while Carmen stayed home with the kids. After I got home and Jayden woke up from his nap, we went to a "pumpkin patch." I put that in quotes because there were more bounce houses than pumpkins, I think. Luckily that's Jayden's idea of a pumpkin patch, so it worked out well!
Coming off one of the giant slides. These slides were actually too big for Jayden; they were a little too high and too fast. He got a couple rubber burns, so we did two and then decided regular bouncing was a lot more fun than the giant slides.
Coming soon: the GIANT pumpkin that Jayden picked out today. So awesome.
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